The Higher Self

One day in January of 1996 I came home to find a message on my answering machine. It was from Debra Evans, the program director of the Whole Life Expo. She wanted to know if I would be willing to be on their channeling panel since I was already a featured speaker at the Expo.

I returned the call with my answer firmly in mind. I said, "Thank you for asking, but you should know that I'm not a channel. I don't channel anybody; furthermore, not one word in my book is channeled." I thought that would certainly do it, but she wasn't so easily convinced. We talked for a while, and I began to tell her what I do. "What I'm really about," I said, "is connecting with the higher self." We continued to talk and I explained in greater detail what I meant by that. Then she said, "That's perfect, you'll be great!"

So I was going to be on the channeling panel. All of a sudden I decided that I had better figure out what I was going to say. As I thought about it, my mind wandered back to May 1980, when I was at Campbell Hot Springs, Leonard Orr's rebirthing center in the Sierra, with Leonard and twenty-five to thirty of his students. We were training to become rebirthing and workshop leaders.

The plan was to go to Europe with Leonard in June, where we would give two weeks of rebirthing training in a particular country and then move on to the next country. The final destination would be India in September to visit Babaji.

I knew that I was not going to Europe . I didn't have the money, I didn't want to miss a summer at home hiking, and Billy Martin was the new manager of the Oakland A's-and I was all pumped up for that. I just did not want to go and I was certain of it! So I met Leonard to tell him of my decision.. He smiled, looked me straight in the eyes, and said, "Come to Europe ."

That was it. There was something about that communication-nothing like it has happened with Leonard before or since. It felt like Babaji was speaking through Leonard. I knew instantly in every cell of my body that I was going to Europe .

I didn't make the Babaji connection at the time, and it took me a while to consider the possibility. What I did notice was all the energy in Leonard's group centered around Babaji and that going to India was the "in" thing to do. Many rebirthers had already made the trek, all of whom returned with shaved heads and incredible stories.

I didn't know if the stories were true, but I was definitely caught up in the wonder of it all, so I withheld judgement. I was just beginning to tune into the creative power of thought, and I recognized the importance of being open to the possibility-smart choice.

Then I recalled the inner voice, the inner communication that began spontaneously while I was in Sweden . I was in the midst of chaos, confusion, and turmoil; I had only enough money to purchase a one-way ticket to London . That meant I had to earn my way as I went, teaching to others as I was just learning myself. My old world had fallen completely apart, none of the securities and comforts were left, and I was clueless as to what the new one would be like.

Yet, included in this chaos was an inner voice that suddenly appeared telling me that everything was okay. That "voice" stayed with me throughout the trip. Chaos and confusion were still present, but somehow I had a shifted relationship with them. I felt an inner calmness, like being in the eye of the hurricane.

Then came mid-August. Four or five of us had separated from the main group and we were in Amsterdam . I don't remember where Leonard was. Because I was away from the group, I no longer had a source of income. I didn't even have enough money to get back home, and I was becoming desperate. I wanted to go home more than anything!

Then I heard about a possibility from a friend. He told me of a courier, DHL, that offered free transportation to New York in exchange for your luggage space. I called them and was told that there was only one free trip a day, but I could be placed on a waiting list. There was no possibility, they said, of an opening for at least two months.

The news was most depressing. Here I was stranded in Amsterdam , with no idea how or if I would ever get home. For some reason, I decided to call DHL back the next day. This time I was told of a situation that, as they said, "never happens." There was a last-minute cancellation for that day and if I could get to the airport right away, I could get the flight. I never moved so fast in my life. I said "Thank you, Babaji" and was on my way!

What is the higher self? Let me begin by telling you how Drunvalo's angels first described it to him. They said, suppose you are on a river in a canoe. It's a beautiful day, and you're having a great time paddling down the river. All of a sudden, the higher self comes in and says to take your canoe over to the shore and carry it through the woods. That might seem rather inconvenient, and you might wonder why.

Inconvenience, however, means nothing to the higher self. So if you have learned to follow the higher self, you will take your canoe out of the water even though it makes no sense to you at the time. Then in retrospect you will understand.

Even though the higher self isn't all-knowing, it certainly has a greater perspective than we do. In this story, the higher self is able to fly a few hundred feet above the ground, and is able to see beyond the bends in the river. It was able to observe a 500-foot waterfall beyond the next bend!

The question then is: How do you connect with your higher self? For me, it was something that just seemed to happen. I didn't plan it, I didn't ask for it, I didn't even know there was such a thing.

According to the Huna tradition, the higher self, like everything, exists in threeness—the higher self, the lower self, and the middle self. In order to make a higher-self connection, you must first connect with the lower self; there is no other way.

The lower self, as it turns out, is a child of two to four years old. You connect with it by being childlike, by dropping all of your sophistication and reconnecting with your innocence and with Nature. Then, when the timing feels right, you can ask lower self if you are ready to connect with higher self. It might say yes, it might say no. If it says yes, great! If it says no, just go back to being innocent and childlike.

When you do make connection with higher self, the connection will always be in a form that you can comfortably accept. Drunvalo says he is very visual, so for him it was two large angels, I am not, so for me it was an internal communication—a feeling or a vibration more than anything. However, at one point, Babaji actually did appear to me, and it was in a way I could totally accept.